You don’t really want to know

I like the idea of love at first sight but understand the impossibility.  I want to get more tattoos but still look classy.  I love hard and dramatically.  I can cry on demand.  Sometimes I bite my nails which I hate because I want to look classy.  I don’t regularly floss but get outstanding results at the dentist.  My pug is in love with me.  I cry at coffee commercials.  I cried watching a recent kids movie involving dogs (too embarrassed to say which one but let me tell you the German shepherd was very stoic).  I love my mom.  I dye my hair.  I hate wearing nail polish(because it highlights my nail biting)  I love birds.  I watch scary movies from behind my hands.  Sometime I run really fast up the stairs after watching a scary movie and leap into bed (there is something terrifying behind me you see).  I only have to shave my legs once a week.  I like the idea of courting but enjoy kissing too much to ever be faithful.  There is a little man inside my head that speaks in a jaunty Scottish accent–he is my friend.